I’ve been keeping to myself more. Been on my other blog more. Been talking to less people. I also lost my phone so that helps a bunch. I’ve been using my dads record player and brought some vinyls myself. I got free weed a week ago from an amazing guy. I guess you can say my life is decent but my mind isn’t at all right now. I feel disgusting. I look in the mirror and cry. I get randomly mad at everyone and shut them away. My fuck buddy who I really want thinks I have bipolar and anxiety problems. He was trying to help me out. I miss him. I need him right now. We help each other in a weird way I guess. Or well at least he really helps me. I try to help him but I don’t think he really gets it that I really wish he could be mine. I hate sleeping in an empty bed each night, and waking up each morning alone. I wished me and him were neighbors and could sneak to each other or at least for me to have a car and go on a random drive and pick him up and me and him just driving where ever we wanted.  I just need something to do. Or someone to actually make me feel normal for a second.